Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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