You're so nebulous sometimes
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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