Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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