No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
