I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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