Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
