Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Say something about gay babies.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
