I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Help. Why am I so naked?
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