Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
