life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.