I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
