so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home