Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize