I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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