The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Green mimosas i think yes
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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