just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
