SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?