Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

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  (570): cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska http://tfl.nu/incr
  Replies (67) Good night (741) Bad night (3969)
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  (718): View more from New York

  They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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  (718): They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule http://tfl.nu/5d7q
  Replies (44) Good night (1037) Bad night (3375)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.

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  (313): I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before. http://tfl.nu/lr8m
  Replies (14) Good night (1651) Bad night (3421)
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  (714): View more from California

  Who was that guy you went home with?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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  (714): Who was that guy you went home with? (1-714): Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now. http://tfl.nu/q2tl
  Replies (45) Good night (6556) Bad night (1276)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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  (401): you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it. http://tfl.nu/ggt5
  Replies (11) Good night (4496) Bad night (1323)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.

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  (647): So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie. http://tfl.nu/dsah
  Replies (7) Good night (3126) Bad night (849)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.

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  (216): The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first. http://tfl.nu/lmqj
  Replies (8) Good night (1947) Bad night (754)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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  (859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94
  Replies (6) Good night (2074) Bad night (697)
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  (760): View more from California

  I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.

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  (760): I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free. http://tfl.nu/mdao
  Replies (7) Good night (3105) Bad night (1141)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?

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  (612): Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle? http://tfl.nu/3yux
  Replies (2) Good night (797) Bad night (309)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

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  (724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (260)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?

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  (612): Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove? http://tfl.nu/82jr
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (246)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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  (850): Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too. http://tfl.nu/dtev
  Replies (8) Good night (507) Bad night (203)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

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  (816): My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest. http://tfl.nu/ifrd
  Replies (8) Good night (240) Bad night (610)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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  (713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (283)

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