I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
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i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
lying in bed pretending to be a slug