Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

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  (204): It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker. http://tfl.nu/sreq
  Replies (8) Good night (3947) Bad night (592)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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  (262): Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin http://tfl.nu/0pd1
  Replies (65) Good night (3887) Bad night (465)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.

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  (985): I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me. http://tfl.nu/zadb
  Replies (11) Good night (4137) Bad night (655)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?

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  (740): I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover? http://tfl.nu/ok2o
  Replies (13) Good night (8103) Bad night (772)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"

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  (636): On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge" http://tfl.nu/w12y
  Replies (12) Good night (4706) Bad night (747)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.

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  (618): I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments. http://tfl.nu/a8pg
  Replies (8) Good night (6008) Bad night (1125)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

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  (330): why is there cat hair all over my deoderant? (1-330): she wanted to smell more freshershest than you. http://tfl.nu/rk6z
  Replies (33) Good night (5815) Bad night (1623)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.

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  (203): I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me. http://tfl.nu/grro
  Replies (11) Good night (5459) Bad night (943)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.

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  (732): He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/grbq
  Replies (8) Good night (4346) Bad night (874)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry

  (1-307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm hurrying

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude. She just shit herself.

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  (307): Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry (1-307): I'm hurrying (307): Dude. She just shit herself. http://tfl.nu/4o8b
  Replies (21) Good night (909) Bad night (4051)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.

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  (952): You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning. http://tfl.nu/mwji
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (1423)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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  (541): I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it http://tfl.nu/0g6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2192) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION

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  (610): IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION http://tfl.nu/utlo
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (298)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.

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  (850): Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts. http://tfl.nu/2gw3
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (403)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.

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  (610): Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me. http://tfl.nu/e3p7
  Replies (2) Good night (260) Bad night (564)

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