please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.