Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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