I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
