So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize