You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
