Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
