I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
