I love black thongs
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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