Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
