if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize