there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
