why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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