She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
