why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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