time to smoke my breakfast
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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