i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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