I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
