Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
