epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
