If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
