This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
What changed your mind?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.