I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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