i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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