That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
