so that wasnt chicken after all
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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