he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
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Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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