i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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