Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You can't motorboat a personality
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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