I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
