I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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