WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
