i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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