OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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