Do you still have your period?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
