We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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