You can't motorboat a personality
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am one with the molecules
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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