How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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