The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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