your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
another moral hangover. fuck.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
