people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
