She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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