i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like death gave me a hand job
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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