she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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