your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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