I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
