I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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