So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
