It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i think i have two assholes
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
