I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
