Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
