hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
