dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
