I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
