I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
