This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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